


Pumpkin

by theothardus



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Candles, Canon Het Relationship, Drabble, F/M, Farting, Ficlet, Humor, Marriage, Married Couple, Mini, Pumpkins, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theothardus/pseuds/theothardus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed takes a stab at the unromantic.<br/>Disclaimer: All hail cow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pumpkin

**XXX**

 

Ed forced her head under the sheets. As if she were drowning in water, her arms and legs flailed, squeezing out sounds of struggle. Her eyes shot open when she realized that he was gearing his rear-end toward her face, and with instinct, she began to pound her fists against his sides.

This was his revenge. After the woman had pissed him off so many damned times.

Grounding his teeth behind pressed lips, the man pushed out a cloud of hot air. The rip of gas vibrated against her eardrum. Winry puffed her cheeks, face turning red, doing everything she could to avoid the smell, but she had to breathe some time. With a gasp, the stench shot up her nostrils.

“ _ERRRRGH! EDWARD!_ ”

She finally overpowered him, bursting out of the sheets. Her fists rained down upon him. Even when she stopped for a moment to seethe, she socked him one last time and exclaimed, “You _jackass!_ ”

He blocked her fists with his arms and a pillow, a grin wearing his face. Ed couldn’t help but let out a haughty laugh, one arm digging into his stomach.

“I’m so-rry, I’m sor-r-r-ry!” he insisted through his laughs, rolling on the bed.

Once she was finished throwing pillows at his head, she turned her back to him, crossing her arms over her chest. He was still smiling ear-to-ear as he lifted himself up to a sitting position and snuck up behind her. His arms snaked around her, nose nuzzling into the corner of her jaw.

“I’m sorry, Win…”

She pushed him off of her with a feminine, “Hmph!”

They sat in silence. For a moment, maybe two, maybe three…

And then the room was filled with the natural growl of flatulence.

“ _AH!_ WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU?!”

Before he could respond, Winry snatched a pillow and started whacking him; he continued to snicker and chuckle. With all her might, she threw in some good blows.

“It’s not my fau-lt! My stomach is messed up!” he gabbed through his grin, holding a hand out in defense.

She continued to whack him around and pop off, as if he hadn’t offered an explanation, “ _Ack,_ our bed smells like sulfur! Now I have to wash your fart out of the sheets!”

All of a sudden, two hands swept up and wrapped around her hips. A body slammed her back to the mattress, pinning her down.

When she looked to the ceiling in shock, a pair of fierce butterscotch eyes met hers, the mirth prevalent in his stare.

Their noses bumped together. That was when Edward breathed, “Then I’ll light a candle.”

His smirk widened in suggestion, tempted to wiggle his eyebrows.

She wanted to smirk too, but withheld on the urge. Instead, she responded in a mock-angry attitude, “It better be pumpkin-scented.”

...

"A'ight, Pumpkin."

 

**_fin_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little ficlet that I wrote. Somehow my muse found flatulence. Poor Ed—it seems his digestive system wasn't agreeing with him that day. D': Hope you enjoyed the read, anyway!


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